Sorry Tone,
Can't help here I'm afraid, but the post made me chuckle.
A friend of mine is a self employed harler/plasterer.
He made up some tee shirts to promote his firm with the following logo put on --
IF YOUR CRACK IS BIG OR SMALL
TOMMY GIBSON FILLS THEM ALL
heh heh
Always makes me laugh
Sorry to go off topic -- not at all unusual in here is it ?